Hilarious John Mulaney Quotes & Jokes To Make Your Day

My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.

I don’t look older, I just look worse.

I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don’t get a laugh but I love them so they stay.

Just because you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting

You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time

I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I’ve always enjoyed it.

Being president looks like the worst job in the world.

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