We are here to bring you some of the best humorous quotes to make you laugh. You can apply these funny humorous quote on WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram or share with your friends on social media to bring smile on their face and make them happy. Our ancestors and doctors have rightly said – Laughter is really the best medicine. A smile on your face not only lowers your stress but also boosts your immunity, relaxes your entire body, controls your blood pressure and keeps your heart healthy. Calculate yourself that when you will bring a smile on your or someone else’s face then how big a work you will do. So, spread the happiness around you by sharing these humorous quotes with them.
Humorous Quotes
- “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”― Albert Einstein
- “So many books, so little time.”― Frank Zappa
- “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”― Narcotics Anonymous
- “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”― Jane Austen,
- “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”― Groucho Marx
- “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”― Steve Martin
- “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”― Mark Twain
- “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”― Douglas Adams
- “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”― Garrison Keillor
- “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”― Robert A. Heinlein
- “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”― Charles M. Schulz
- “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”― Jim Henson
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”― Woody Allen
- “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”― Paul Terry
- “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”― Groucho Marx
- “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”― Charles Bukowski
- “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
- “Reality continues to ruin my life.”― Bill Watterson
- “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”― George Carlin
- “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”― Benjamin Franklin Wade
- “I love mankind … it’s people I can’t stand!!”― Charles M. Schulz
- “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”― W.C. Fields
- “Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”― Suzanne Collins
- “A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”― Jane Austen
- “It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”― Lewis Carroll
- “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”― Charles J. Sykes
- “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you’ll die of a misprint.”― Markus Herz
- “Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”― Terry Johnson
“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”― C.E.M. Joad
- “Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.”― Terry Pratchett
- “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”― Chuck Palahniuk
- “This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”― George V. Higgins
- “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer”― Douglas Adams
- “Never memorize something that you can look up.”― Albert Einstein
- “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”― J.K. Rowling
- “When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”― Albert Einstein
- “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”― Oscar Levant
- “Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.”― Thomas Szasz
- “Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”― Mark Twain
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- “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”― Mark Twain
- “I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”― Jane Austen
- “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”― Laurence J. Peter
- “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”― Jerome K. Jerome
- “There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”― Bertrand Russell
- “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”― Friedrich Nietzsche
- “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”― Mark Twain
- “Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”― Henry Ward Beecherr
- “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”― W.C. Fields
- “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”― Isaac Asimov
- “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.”― Mae West
- I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”― Maya Angelou
- “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”― Mark Twain
- “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”― Dr. Seuss
“I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it.”― Edgar Allan Poe
- “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”― Anthony G. Oettinger
- “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”― Terry Pratchett
- “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”― Oscar Wilde
